Jumpin' Through Hoops and Ridin' on Coasters!!

Roller coasters - I have always loved them.  From the time I was a little girl, I remember getting such a thrill from riding all kinds.  My favorite were the coasters that took me upside down and all around.  Even though I loved the ride, I still to this day get nervous as I get all strapped in and compulsively check to make sure everything is latched and secure.  The climb to the top of the highest drop is always full of anticipation and butterflies and before I even know it, the ride is over and I am walking away from it with a permagrin and a rush of adrenaline that makes my head ache.  I have also always loved hoops - so many great things come in hoops.  Of course, if you know me, you know I LOVE playing/watching hoops, in my glory days I was a master at the hula-hoop, and who doesn't like a great pair of hoop earrings??  But, I can honestly say....I have never been a fan of jumping through hoops, but then again....who is - well, besides circus performers :P

 Let me give you a taste of the hoops we have jumped through and the coasters we have ridden on in the past couple of weeks!!!!

Hoop #1 and Hoop #2 - The Uterohoops:  Despite the fact that I have FOUR children of my own, I have had to prove my uterus's ability to carry a child which means that I had to have a catheder inserted into my uterus and saline solution pushed through the catheter in order to prove to everyone that yes, indeed, my uterus is there and functioning :P  But, that is not nearly as amazing as the second uterohoop in which I had to have a numbing agent injected into my cervix several times so 007's spy camera could be inserted into my uterus to make sure there were not polyps or anything else that might prevent me from becoming pregnant.  In case you were wondering how much I enjoyed these experiences....well, I bet you could take a guess, but thankfully the end justifies the means.  It is just a bit frustrating for all of us to be put through this when my body has proven time and time again to be good at providing a nurturing habitat for babies!

Crazy Coaster Hoop Extraordinaire!!:  This stop along our journey serves as both a hoop and a coaster....I have to receive a psychological evaluation.  If you ask my husband, he will say, "she doesn't need one, I can already tell you she is bonkers."  He would be kidding, of course....I hope :P  But, in order to be a surrogate, a woman has to obtain a psych eval.  Well, one would think this would be an easy hoop to jump through - but here is where we board the coaster.  We were all told by our fertility doctor that these were easy to come by, quick, and cheap.  He was incorrect on all three counts.  I literally called all over the greater St. Louis metropolitan area just to be told over and over again their clinic does not administer psych evals for the purpose of surrogacy.  It wasn't the fact the receptionists said this, but it was the way each one said it that angered me.  Each one made it sound so dirty.  I only wish for one second they could empathize with Katie and Kevin and their longing for a child together and then maybe they wouldn't be so judgmental, but I have come to realize that might be too much to ask for our society to do - empathize... Eventually I found a couple of psychologists who were hesitant to do this, but would for a nominal fee of $1000.00. HA!!!! RIGHT!!! Let us just go collect that from our couch cushions....get outta here!!!!  FINALLY, we came to the easy part of the ride when a non-judgmental, reasonably priced psychologist, who genuinely wanted to learn about our circumstances, stepped up and took us on.  Now, we are only one interview away from getting signed off to proceed - and despite what my husband says, I am totally confident it will happen!!!!

Roller Coaster #2 - The InsuraCoaster:  From the get-go, we all knew that insurance was going to be a crap-shoot.  The bottom line is, most states and most insurance companies in those states make it incredibly difficult, almost consistent with punishment, for those people who cannot have children for one reason or another.  I find this fact absolutely ridiculous.  Government funds can pay for a pregnancy of an irresponsible person who has a low income, but yet a FAMILY who would give anything to have a baby has to pay an arm and a leg to have a child - that is just NOT RIGHT!!!  Whether it is adoption, surrogacy, IVF - it doesn't matter, it all costs a FORTUNE!!!!  And just for reference, this is coming from a woman whose family depended on government aid every now and again through her childhood - and I still believe in government aid to this day - but I would love to have 1 WEEK to reorganize how it is distributed and the regulations in place!  The good news is - MY insurance will cover this pregnancy, but for about 24 hours, the fertility clinic led Katie to believe they wouldn't.  Katie was so upset, I was so upset, but my husband gave me the best advice....he said, now is not the time to get so upset you can't think straight - now is the time to think of a way around all of this and figure it out.  So - I did what he and I like to do best - be honest.  I called up my insurance company and asked flat out - and after speaking with higher ups, the representative told me I was covered - and don't you know that conversation was recorded for quality assurance :P  GOD. IS. GOOD!!!!

The Vanishing HoopCoaster:  Thankfully Katie and I agreed to eliminate one of the hoops for us by forgoing an unwarranted test which saved me from a lot of pain and saved Katie and Kevin a lot of money, but we still have one final hoop before we can breathe and that is blood-work that needs to be drawn on the third day of my cycle.  People, I have never wanted my period to come so badly in my life!!!!!  I don't think anyone can truly understand what we are all experiencing unless they have experienced it in some fashion, but let me just say, people bond so quickly through struggle and I wouldn't have it any other way.  Whether they like it or not - Katie and Kevin - and all of their family are OUR family now.  We are in this together.  And Katie has found this out about me rather quickly...when I put my mind to something - you better believe I will do anything to make it happen.

I keep telling myself that our surrogacy journey is exactly like a roller coaster ride and the hoops are no big deal.  In fact, if you ignore the height requirement and put my entire family along with Kevin and Katie's entire family into the seats of a roller coaster, we would fill up the entire thing.  We all voluntarily got on this ride together and we are all going to leave this ride with something different.  I truly believe in my heart we will all be greater for this journey.

SO.... for as much as I love roller coasters and hoops, I can tell you this - when it comes to parenthood, those who are deserving of the incredible responsibility of being parents should not have to ride the roller coaster we are on or jump through the hoops we are jumping through.  Thankfully we all can trust that God has a plan and he put us on this ride for a reason and fashioned these hoops for a reason. I have chosen to appreciate every moment for what it is and know that hindsight is 20/20 and when we all look back, we will all know it was worth it in the end!!  Until then, I will raise my hands up to HIM and trust that HE will guide me through this ride of a lifetime.

~ Kanga

Pools, Fireworks, and Wedding Dresses OH MY!!!

          Okay, so I am new to the world of blogging and as you probably have noticed, I am not the best at its daily maintenance :P  As much as I would love to write every day - I am just not sure that is possible between the diapers and the baseball games and the dinners....you catch my drift.  So, thank you in advance for your patience as I make room for blogging in my daily routine :o)

ANYWAY...

          Let's talk about the amazing Fourth of July trip we took to Iowa this past weekend.  Thanks to Katie's AMAZING family, we were able to stay with her parents while we were visiting, which was perfect on so many levels.  My family is so grateful to them for providing such a comfortable place for us to stay.  We were looking forward to spending time with my family, whom we don't see nearly enough, and we were also looking forward to the opportunity to just spend time with Katie, Kevin, and the rest of their family.  I could seriously go on and on about how wonderful our weekend was, but because that would read very similar to Katie's post, I am going to provide the top 10 highlights from the trip!!

10. Talking through the interesting/awkward St. Ambrose connections around the pool :P  On another pool party note, it was really great meeting someone who went to high school with my mom.  She even brought me her yearbook so I could see Mom in all her senior-year glory!!  That was really thoughtful and I will always treasure that.

9. Watching everyone go down the pool slide - especially Dan's multiple attempts at surfing upon entry and Kaitlyn's torpedo.  The boys were really hesitant to go down the slide, but just as we all thought, once they did it, they never got off of it!

8. Meeting everyone at the 4th of July Parade and seeing Gianna snuggle with Katie the entire time under the shade of a tree.  I also loved seeing Maicey in her adorable dress and crown!!!  What a princess.

7. Enjoying the food/beverage and entertainment provided by Rob and Kim :o)  I swear Rob never leaves home without his grill or a cut-off!!!  I am actually very thankful for that - the grill that is :P

6. Snuggling on my nephews as well as my bro and sis-in law.  I am so glad we had a chance to spend some time together during their busy trip!!  It was also nice all being together at my aunt and uncle's house.  Their house always feels like home - and I especially appreciate how close I feel to my mom when I am there....and my aunt's delicious cookies!!

5. Kevin giving the boys a shout-out on the radio and seeing Shane's face as we explained to him that everyone could hear it.... "I was on national radio"!!!!  That was too sweet!!

4.Watching the Bettendorf fireworks with my family.  This was the twins' first experience watching fireworks and they were mesmerized.  I think that was the stillest Genevieve has ever been in her life!! 

3.  Seeing Maicey with the girls.  Even though the twins were really shy around her - she still managed to smooch them and love on them!!  She even gave them rings that light up at the fireworks so they wouldn't be afraid of the dark - so, so sweet!!!

2.  Meeting most of the important people in Katie and Kevin's life.  I was touched by all of the people who are inspired by Katie and overwhelmed by all of the love surrounding everyone at all times.  This is the type of family most people only experience when they watch movies people!!!  To see Katie's mom's face when I confirmed she would be a part of the delivery was priceless.

1. Going wedding dress shopping with my little sister and seeing her beautiful face while she was wearing her beautiful wedding dress.  I love her.  I am so proud of her.  I don't tell her that enough.  Sisser - I love you and I am so very proud of you and I am so grateful you found such a loving man and such a loving family to marry into.

Yes - this trip was amazing and I cannot wait to go back soon!  I couldn't help but think about what a neat yearly tradition this trip could become for our families and I hope and pray next year there will be another baby attending all the celebrations for everyone to dote on, and that baby - or babies - will be so incredibly lucky and so irrevocably loved.

~Kanga