I am feeling so many emotions in this moment. I am about to see the long lost sister I never knew I had and we are about to find out the timeline that will change our lives forever. God amazes me every day with the blessings he scatters along my path. Katie mentioned this before that so much of this story so far should have sent up red flags for both of us along the way - or made us say - hold on a second, I don't really know this person. Never once have I EVER felt that way. I feel like Katie has been in my life forever and adore the idea of our families growing together and building new memories and traditions for the rest of our lives. My only fear is that by the end of the day, my heart isn't going to want her and Kevin to go back home because I want more time with them. I want more time to hear their stories. I want more time for them to spend with my children. The good news is....we have the rest of our lives for that!!
I can only imagine how Katie and Kevin are feeling in this moment right now. They are driving to the LOU to see their Kangaroo!!! I imagine them passing the time during the drive by dreaming about the family they are building. So much to talk about - names, nursery themes, and baby showers. I can hear Katie saying "You know Kevin, even if we have a boy, he is still going to dance." And because I know how supportive Kevin is, he will say - "Of course he will, and I will be right there taking pictures of him." I am sure they have butterflies in their tummy's like I do!!
Unfortunately, my husband won't be able to join us for the appointment today because he is on Daddy duty. We don't have a lot of support in St. Louis when it comes to family who can take care of our children when we have important things to do. We talked last night and we thought it would be best if I just go so I can devote my entire attention to Katie, Kevin, and the doctors. Thankfully, we are all going to meet up afterwards for dinner so we can lay out our plans. Dan assured me that he is with me in spirit and supports me 100% - WHAT . A . MAN!! I am such a lucky woman to know he has my back in everything I do. I am proud to know my children have such an amazing father to idolize and follow. Please know that I could NEVER give this gift without him. He is my strength, my advocate, my soul. Our children play a huge role in this as well - and I will share their perspectives later.
Keep us close to your thoughts and prayers today as we hear our futures unfold....
<3 Kanga
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Sunday, June 23, 2013
I am Just a Regular Mom
Motherhood is a gift from God - a gift I looked forward to receiving for as long as I can remember. When I was a little girl I was constantly pretending I was a mother - in fact, I don't remember playing much else as a child. I would name all my babies and dress them up in my old baby clothes and tote them around with me all over the place. I had babies who would cry, take a bottle, and even babies who would mess in a diaper. When my little sister came along, I was nine and felt like I received the ultimate baby doll. Who knew that all those years of pretending would prepare me for changing her diaper and carrying her around from here to there. I wasn't a huge fan of her tantrums and the fact that my mom could NEVER say no to her, but having a baby sister cemented the deal - I wanted to be a mom when I grew up and that.is.that!
After meeting the love of my life, Dan, in college and getting married soon after we graduated, we knew we wanted to start a family right away. This was it - what I have waited my whole life for - motherhood. We were blessed to get pregnant right away with our oldest son Shane and everything about the pregnancy, labor, and delivery was a beautiful experience for our family. We knew we wanted to have another child right away so when Shane was 15 months old, we welcomed Cody into the world. Again, everything was perfect. I did it....I was a mother of two amazing boys!!
It wasn't long after Cody was born when I started talking to Dan about how much I love motherhood and love being pregnant. I told him I thought it would be such an amazing honor to surrogate for a family who couldn't carry a pregnancy of their own. He smiled at me and admired my big heart and that was that - just a casual conversation between a husband and a wife.
Dan and I were not sure we were finished having our own children, so we spent the next several years watching our boys learn and grow - soaking up every bit of marriage and parenthood. After some devastating moments in our life, Dan and I decided we wanted a bigger family - and of course I wanted to have a daughter so badly that we began to pray for God to bless us with another child. It wasn't quite as easy getting pregnant with our next baby as it had been with Shane and Cody since Dan and I were both older, but soon enough, I found out on Mother's Day, I was pregnant again with our third child. God had other plans and brought that baby home to be with him on the day of our 7th wedding anniversary. Those moments were extremely difficult for our family, but we grew closer through them and knew God had a plan. On Father's Day, my husband opened up what turned out to be the best gift he could have ever received - a positive pregnancy test! Yep - we were pregnant again, and that plan God had for us apparently involved us being the parents of TWINS. Nine months later, we delivered two beautiful baby girls, and our family was complete...maybe :o)
So here is the part in the story where I could easily sit back and enjoy the rest of my life with my soul-mate and our beautiful children - which would not have been a bad choice, but I have a different calling. God has different plans for me - I can feel it in my bones. In my moments of pure joy watching all of my children playing together I can't help but stop and think about families who, for whatever reason, cannot experience these moments of parenthood. Sure - there are several routes couples can take in order to build a family, but most are expensive, emotionally draining, and full of "catches." I told my husband I want to help a family have a baby with NO catches because it is the right thing to do - my intentional act of kindness.
I just knew I would find another woman out there who has been dreaming about motherhood since she was a little girl, just like me. Who looked forward to having children after finding the love of her life, just like me. Who would give anything to experience every single first, with a perfect child of God, just like me. And I found her. And I am going to have her baby.
I am just a regular Mom who happens to be lucky enough to give God's greatest gift to Katie and Kevin - the gift of parenthood. I am just a regular Mom and I am their Kangaroo!! Thank you for being a part of this experience and supporting our families as we grow together through this journey.
After meeting the love of my life, Dan, in college and getting married soon after we graduated, we knew we wanted to start a family right away. This was it - what I have waited my whole life for - motherhood. We were blessed to get pregnant right away with our oldest son Shane and everything about the pregnancy, labor, and delivery was a beautiful experience for our family. We knew we wanted to have another child right away so when Shane was 15 months old, we welcomed Cody into the world. Again, everything was perfect. I did it....I was a mother of two amazing boys!!
It wasn't long after Cody was born when I started talking to Dan about how much I love motherhood and love being pregnant. I told him I thought it would be such an amazing honor to surrogate for a family who couldn't carry a pregnancy of their own. He smiled at me and admired my big heart and that was that - just a casual conversation between a husband and a wife.
Dan and I were not sure we were finished having our own children, so we spent the next several years watching our boys learn and grow - soaking up every bit of marriage and parenthood. After some devastating moments in our life, Dan and I decided we wanted a bigger family - and of course I wanted to have a daughter so badly that we began to pray for God to bless us with another child. It wasn't quite as easy getting pregnant with our next baby as it had been with Shane and Cody since Dan and I were both older, but soon enough, I found out on Mother's Day, I was pregnant again with our third child. God had other plans and brought that baby home to be with him on the day of our 7th wedding anniversary. Those moments were extremely difficult for our family, but we grew closer through them and knew God had a plan. On Father's Day, my husband opened up what turned out to be the best gift he could have ever received - a positive pregnancy test! Yep - we were pregnant again, and that plan God had for us apparently involved us being the parents of TWINS. Nine months later, we delivered two beautiful baby girls, and our family was complete...maybe :o)
So here is the part in the story where I could easily sit back and enjoy the rest of my life with my soul-mate and our beautiful children - which would not have been a bad choice, but I have a different calling. God has different plans for me - I can feel it in my bones. In my moments of pure joy watching all of my children playing together I can't help but stop and think about families who, for whatever reason, cannot experience these moments of parenthood. Sure - there are several routes couples can take in order to build a family, but most are expensive, emotionally draining, and full of "catches." I told my husband I want to help a family have a baby with NO catches because it is the right thing to do - my intentional act of kindness.
I just knew I would find another woman out there who has been dreaming about motherhood since she was a little girl, just like me. Who looked forward to having children after finding the love of her life, just like me. Who would give anything to experience every single first, with a perfect child of God, just like me. And I found her. And I am going to have her baby.
I am just a regular Mom who happens to be lucky enough to give God's greatest gift to Katie and Kevin - the gift of parenthood. I am just a regular Mom and I am their Kangaroo!! Thank you for being a part of this experience and supporting our families as we grow together through this journey.
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